A Grief

For those of us who take the dart to the heart with a smile

There's no one who gets to see our melting points

They shut their eyes just like we veil our cries

And everyone pretends nothing's out of order.

In all this pretense of

N o r m a l i s a t i o n

Somewhere inside us

the pieces keep shattering down

While people keep coming around

Giving a little extra pain to shove down.

Pointless arguments

same merciless tones

There's not an inch of empathy

not even a little humanity.

How would have I known

Some grieves are for you to bear alone

Maybe it's not even a legit grief

when you lose someone that only you have known.

With piercing agony

inside our beings

we flash smiles like it's a good holiday

while all we go through is another agonizing day

Shattered souls and aching bodies

Broken hearts with unwritten stories

No proper theme,

not title to give;

what have I just been through?

how could this be so much,

and yet be so 'nothing'?

How could an event,

an interval of life,

longer than 10 weeks

be recorded shorter than a heartbeat?

How can something be forgotten before its even over? 

A loss remains a loss

whether acknowledged or not.

The pain remains intact

despite all the varnish.

And a place in the heart forever remains

Occupied by the same inhabitant.

And time and again

the specks of grief 

shine through the eyes again.

I am grateful you dropped by, even if it was just for a moment...

I don't even know if you're counted; but in my heart, you're permanent.

You both remain loved and unforgotten - within my existence.

Memories...

Memories are treasured in hearts n souls
Of friends n people who possess eminent roles
In life; n of people who endeavor their very best
To convert the weary heart into a heart of zest
Their love, their care, their help n support
Every praise, every blame upsurges the rapport
These allies, these friends, although, miles apart
Till the farewell breath, reside in the heart...

My Lost Poet

The weaver of stories
The twister of words
Where within me is she?
Where is she lost?

Creativity, it's where?
Where is my flair?
Those sentimental words
Those phrases of care

My dagger-like anger
My grief, a killer
Where is that me in me?
Where is that thriller?

Everything, it's lost
Not a bit strung along
My words fail me
All's gone, so long

My poetry, so plain
My words, so bland
My heart, it's mute
My thoughts, they're blank

Without you, I'm bare
With you, I'm alive
I seek you within me
In you, let me dive

So when is your comeback
Oh poet-girl of me?
When will you return
Belong once again to me...?

Ye Silsilay...

Kabhi hans liye, kabhi ro diye,
Kabhi lar paray, phir jaa milay
Ajab hai apni dastan-e-wafa
Baray munfarid hain ye silsilay

Mein lakh khud se kehti rahun
Nahin khair se ab rahi fikr mujhay
Tu rooth ja, mujhe chor ja
Juda tujhse huay mere rastay

Perr yadein meri, betien mere
Tujhi se wabastah rahay
Na yahan rang bache, na koi khushi
Jo barh gae hum men faaslay

Men kahun to kya, samjhaun to kya
Men haar chuki apnay hoslay
Tu mujhse alag, to men khud se juda
Na yun tanha chorr ker jaa mujhay...

Lonely Horizons

Either I deceive myself and pretend it's okay,
Or shrug off my egoistical silence for you to stay.
Either you halt your sneaky melodramatic tales,
Or let the storm at sea, sweep this friendship away!
It's like an obscure battle amongst two warriors
It's like a jumbled dialogue between elite performers;
You dampen my spirits when I caress your heart,
I snub you devotion when you embrace my soul.
Strayed travelers we were, before clasping the palms
Astray we go again, since our battles have begun.
Deserted my island was, lonely were my seasons
Oh welcome, Sweet Solitude! Re-occupy your horizons!

Haze

Some fresh emotions
Some vanished sentiments
Everyday, connected to yesterday
And yet unaware of the past day
Vast emptiness, silent chambers
In the world of my empty thoughts
Where is what I felt the previous day?
Where is my fear, my grief?
Why am I happy today?
And if I'm meant to be cheerful
Why melancholy existed yesterday?

Am I too full, or am I bare?
Am I important, or just a spare?
Privately endeavouring to be someone
unknown, but well-known just to The One
Am I accepted, or rejected?
Is my philosophy real?
Have I yet started the preparation
Or am I still miles away from the reception?
Do I think right, or do I even think?
Am I involved in the fight
Or am I lost in the blink of an eye?
Do i exist anywhere...in this nowhere?
Will I be lead to the 'final somewhere'?
And when the hour arrives
(As it is said and meant to be)
Will I feel a rush? or will I be numb?
Will I be running to save someone?
Or will I just render my everything
To One and Eternal YOU?
Or would You give me the power
To do the random somethings?
Is my mind clear and ready?
Or am I strayed in the midst of thoughts?
Am I guided...or am I off-track?
Am I there where You're watching?
Or is my soul just a dark, unwanted spot
In this vast valley of Yours?
Do I exist in Your battle? 
Somewhere, perhaps just in the corner?
Or am I too weak for survival?
And too disgraceful for the honour?
Will I end up as Yours?
Or will be thrown with cult
That I abhorred all along
Because I loved You, and it wasn't a fault
But I never praised, I never thanked
I never realized, how much I cared
Did I even care, or was it just a haze?
I'm deviated, lost, belonging nowhere!
Guide me, where is Your light?
Don't show the path, just drag me!
I want to be there, although I ain't worthy
I'm useless, but You can take me in your hood
You can make me someone, anyone You want
I can be somewhere there, just if You want.

Do you miss me too?

Whenever I miss you
Do you miss me too?
Do you recall our past
And dream for future too?

Are you sitting in your room
Looking at the screen;
Reading into past,
Silencing your scream?

Wishing I was there
Right beside your shoulder
The way I am hoping
While inking down this paper

Do you too grab your phone
Wishing it was me?
The way I wait for you,
Do you too do it for me?

And do you do the same
As I do with us;
Wishing we would converse
Yet never express?

Do you weave fantasies
Secret to the world?
Do you weep in your heart
And smile towards the world?

Are you holding on to silenced hope
Thought there aren't any reasons?
Are you too wishing for 'US'
And dreaming of happy seasons?

Are you thinking of me now
And carving down a memory
Are you too typing down your wishes
In your secret e-diary...?

Fruits

Yellow fruits, Red fruits;
Fruits of all colours.
Sweet fruits, Sour fruits;
Fruits of all flavours.

Some are stout, some slim;
All of them unique.
Good for bones, good for skin;
All for good physique.

Peel'em off, cut'em down;
Eat them as you wish.
Mix'em up, chop'em down
Make your favourite dish.

Mono-flavoured, multi-flavoured;
Have juices of your choice.
Either cocktail or milk-shake,
All fruit drinks are nice.

Play some games, walk a mile,
Keep yourself active.
Study well, talk a while
Be most attractive.

Do whatever, the way you want
But remember one thing!
Fruits are very important,
For a happy n healthy living!

Dreams

I drift to sleep every night praying for a miracle, 

I wake up every morn hoping for a marvel; 

Will the change ever come? Will the miracle ever happen...? 

Will the darkness ever fade? Will the stars ever glisten...?

Counting my Blessings

God never made anyone as lucky as me.

 I start to count His blessings...and as soon as I reach SEVEN...i feel overwhelmed with joy...for if He had only blessed me with these seven assets in my life, it would have been enough of His blessings.

But He never stopped...though I never thanked Him enough..

This Game

Life is like Sonic game....you keep running all your life, crushing obstacles, jumping high to fulfill the needs and gather simple joys, fighting/ignoring enemies, finding your way out of mysteries....just to make it till the end. 

Sometimes you have Sez stcking by ur side...but even Sez cant be there all along, there have to be some lone times. No matter what, until u survive...the game still goes on....

Like Stars...

It takes a lot of time for a newborn star's brightness to reach the earth, but the light sure touches the surface some day....
No matter how much the distance be, no matter how long it takes to reach, and no matter how little the star's brightness be in the universe...but it still IS!!

And when we count the stars, we count them all.

And make a little extra effort to notice the not-so-bright ones.

Lessons Learnt

I've learnt three things from my life that Im sure of:

1) Nothing lasts forever.
2) No matter what, life goes on.
3) Life's fair; God knows. And you're too naive if you disagree.

Fly Ahead

Look at the horizon, spread your wings.....and FLY! No matter where you reach, you'll surely be ahead of where you are right now...!

Unasnwered

Sometimes we don't even know if we're answerable to life's questions or is life answerable to our questions; or are those questions just meant to stay intact...untouched, undisturbed, unanswered...

Human Perception

We human beings are too naive to acknowledge all the emotions & situations; we only comprehend what HE opens our senses to...& we never even know whether our lives r on peaks or in pits.We only feel what He makes or lets us feel...& that's never the limit, never the answer!

Don't you sometimes wish you could reach your hand out of the li'l box and grasp a share of something so far away...something you can catch the glimpse of, but never touch...?

Mazeed 2-liners

Ehsaasat ki afwaaj, lafzon ke hathyaar rakhtay hain
Baray zaalim hain ye shaayar, jeetay ji maar daitay hain...

....


Ae kaash in mehektay lafzon ke hujoom men
Koi aisa bhi shair ho jo haal-e dil bayaan ker day...


....


Har rooh ki gehraai mein basti hai tanhaai
Us tanhaai me rachti hai Khuda ki Khudaai


....


Apnay wajood se judaa ker ke mein khud ko agar dekhun
To wo shakhs hun jisay dushman se bhi baeed tar rakhun

Namumkinaat

Rooh pe jajti be-basi, ye buzdili, shikast-kadah ek zindagi
Us pe bheegi palkon ke khuab aur kuch khuahishen qalb-e veeran ki
Har pal pukaarti majbooriyan, past bulandiyan, buland pastiyan
Kahan se dhoond k laun mein...dil-e-moom, hosla-e-lashkari

Cracked You

You're like a cracked mirror;

Perfectly opaque,

Reflection twister

Happy Birthday

May there be soft breeze all around you
May the streets be coated with fragrant dew
May the moon shine down brightly tonight
May the seas reflect heaven's euphoric view
May every single particle in this universe
Join hands, tonight, to wish 'Happy Birthday To You'

Fly...

I wanna fly high..
Above the valleys so blue and into the skies so cool
I wanna swim in the oceans of white fluff and wool
I wanna hear the breeze chanting the melodies of freedom
Welcoming and Promising; Protecting me in their kingdom....

Freedom

As much freedom of expression as people have, you have freedom of reception.

They think what they can, they say what they should; 

You may hear what you can but believe only what you should!

A shout out to procrastinators

If you're a procrastinator, make sure you cover a major part of your task immediately after you're assigned...cuz u're definitely not goin to touch it again until the last moment

Perfection

Allah plans out things perfectly and uniquely. 

All that you see are the things He wants you to see, 

the emotions you have are the best you can feel. 

He burdens you just to ensure you're not fragile. 

He places hurdles in your way to make you jump another mile..

Random two-liners

Dhalti shaam ho, bulandi pe kahin mil jaen
Tanhaai, khamshi, Khuda aur mein

.....

Chupaun bhi agar khud ko to kis bahaanay se
Ye jo paraae hain, dar-haqiqat apnay hi hain

.....

Ajab si aarzu aa basi hai dil-e veeran mein
Ab bas sannaton me jeenay ka dil chahta hai

.....

Ajab khilona banaya hua hai zindagi ne mujhe
Udaas hun to mujhse rooth jati hai ye
Zara khikhilaun to mujhe mazaq bana deti he..


.....


Dete bhi hain to sab musarrat-e zindagi ki duaaen
Koi rahat-e rooz-e mehsher ki dua kyun nahin deta

The Times

'The good times and the bad times both will pass. It will pass. It will get easier. But the fact that it will get easier does not mean that it doesn’t hurt now. And when people try to minimize your pain they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain you’re doing yourself a disservice. Don’t do that. The truth is that it hurts because it’s real. It hurts because it mattered. And that’s an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t end, that it won’t get better. Because it will.' 

~ Anonymous

Some People...

Some people are like angels...

like spring in December...

like a rose amidst thorns...

like a sweet dream that interrupts a nightmare....

like pearls at the depth of an ocean. 

Some people, those some people who are almost insignificant to the world...

those little people that make your whole world....
They are the ones who make your life worth living for....
My heart loves & appreciates them...

and I wish they know who they are ... 

Your blatant lies..

Now with tears in your eyes and pain in your heart,

You don't even know how to stand my remarks...
And somehow it doesn't soothe me to see you drown, 

but all I know is I've been munching on lies for far too long...

Play Pro!

When you step up to do something, pretend like you're a professional at it even though you're doin' it for the first time. Chances are you'll end up becoming one! And even if you fail, don't be hesitant...cuz even experts make mistakes..!

Allah se maang...

Allah se apni zaroorat se, apni hasrat se barh ker maang...jitna maangna hai toot ker maang...

Wo tujhe teri auqaat se barh ker na de de to kehna! 

Aur har dam Us Zaat ka shukar ada ker, ke jis ke dum pe tu chal raha hai....
Allah chahta hai k tu maangay aur Uska shukr ada karay...

Allah insaan ka bhala hi chahta, insan nahin samajhta...

Time...

Time ticks by....though everything changes, nothing really has changed...

All I Have...

All I have is a little faith, just a little to steer me by
And all I have is a little wit, just enough to live this life...

Reality Check

It took me 20 years of my life to realize what a fool I've been, and then.........I threw all my realizations away and allowed people to fool me around. And by 21, I realized that at some stage, every single person is going to hurt me badly...and I'm going to do the same to every single person in my life...

So I closed my eyes, and flung my heart up to the skies
God reached out to catch it and promised me to keep it
Said He'd be mine forever and never let my heart suffer
If I trusted Him alone and expected only from Him alone...

And I don't suffer anymore....I don't get hurt, I never fall apart.
And I try to refrain from hurting people, but I'm still pretty much of a loser at it...

Magnify not your fears

When you discover your fears & shortcomings, acknowledge them. 

Then go ahead and conquer them! 

Your fears and shortcomings can NEVER be greater than Allah!

if Everyone Cared...

I don't get how people say 'What if everyone cared' and then 'stay with the cheerful ones, not the crybabies' at the same time. Do they forget all the times they themselves whined and needed a shoulder to lean on to? If you think everyone should be strong enough to hide their feelings just cuz u can do so, you're just being plain ignorant, nothing better! There wouldn't be anything like 'sentimental moments' anymore...cuz pain has always been a stronger version of feelings. If you kill all the pain in the world, you kill feelings.

Uncrowned Heroes

Some beautiful people in our lives don't even know how beautiful they are...
They are so beautiful that there isn't any word, any thought, any gift as much beautiful to celebrate their presence...
Sometimes you just wish you could stare in their eyes with a big smile on your face....just to let them know how enchanted you are to have them in your life...

Befriending Imperfections

If only we remembered all the lessons we learnt through life....
If only we never forgot...
Since that's not possible, lets just learn to live peacefully with our mistakes...

In the midst...

There is a narrow road between the dark and the dawn
Between love and hate; peace and desperation
Neither do I turn right, nor do I incline towards the left
There's no Moon here, no Sun; it's neither Hell nor Heaven

Words?

sometimes....

some rare times....

what are words?

The Real Us...

"The weather always changes, the climate changes depending on weather, but nothing ever changes the place. Just like inside us, our current tendencies, if continuous, may change our interests, but almost nothing ever changes who we are." 

~ My li'l bro

People..

The kinda people who take extra care of you just to kill your heart,
who understand your feelings just to play with them,
who lift you up just to bury you down...

Impermanence...

Don't make any human being the center of your world, don't ever completely rely on a human soul...'cuz every other human on this planet is as unpredictable and as helpless as you are...

Seasons change, new buds bloom and old leaves wither, ice melts and clouds rain down...dawns break and night somehow supersedes it all...

Nothing's permanent, you see? Everything's temporary...and so is life...

andaaz-e hamdardi

Ajeeb andaaz hai humadardon, humnawaaon kay
Marham kartay hain malmal me kaantay rakh ker

A Beautiful Lie...

You lie to me,
I pretend to believe;
Then you lie to yourself
That I truly believed.
What a beautiful lie,
You and I.
We're as fake as this life,
A Beautiful Lie...

Haae ye insaan...

Insan chahay jitna bhi

 taqatwar, samajhdaar, ameer, mashoor ya bahaadur ho jaae, 

bil-aakhir INSAAN hi rehta hai...

You've changed so much!

The people who complain that you've changed are usually the ones who've led you to it...

This life we live...

It's a long long journey...

And it only takes you back to where you belong...

The Caring Ones...

There's a difference between people who SHOW CARE 

and the ones who ACTUALLY CARE....

The hardest part is distinguishing between the two 

and choosing the right ones...

Scars

Cuz its the wounds that make you stronger 

And the scars that boost your valour...