Haze

Some fresh emotions
Some vanished sentiments
Everyday, connected to yesterday
And yet unaware of the past day
Vast emptiness, silent chambers
In the world of my empty thoughts
Where is what I felt the previous day?
Where is my fear, my grief?
Why am I happy today?
And if I'm meant to be cheerful
Why melancholy existed yesterday?

Am I too full, or am I bare?
Am I important, or just a spare?
Privately endeavouring to be someone
unknown, but well-known just to The One
Am I accepted, or rejected?
Is my philosophy real?
Have I yet started the preparation
Or am I still miles away from the reception?
Do I think right, or do I even think?
Am I involved in the fight
Or am I lost in the blink of an eye?
Do i exist anywhere...in this nowhere?
Will I be lead to the 'final somewhere'?
And when the hour arrives
(As it is said and meant to be)
Will I feel a rush? or will I be numb?
Will I be running to save someone?
Or will I just render my everything
To One and Eternal YOU?
Or would You give me the power
To do the random somethings?
Is my mind clear and ready?
Or am I strayed in the midst of thoughts?
Am I guided...or am I off-track?
Am I there where You're watching?
Or is my soul just a dark, unwanted spot
In this vast valley of Yours?
Do I exist in Your battle? 
Somewhere, perhaps just in the corner?
Or am I too weak for survival?
And too disgraceful for the honour?
Will I end up as Yours?
Or will be thrown with cult
That I abhorred all along
Because I loved You, and it wasn't a fault
But I never praised, I never thanked
I never realized, how much I cared
Did I even care, or was it just a haze?
I'm deviated, lost, belonging nowhere!
Guide me, where is Your light?
Don't show the path, just drag me!
I want to be there, although I ain't worthy
I'm useless, but You can take me in your hood
You can make me someone, anyone You want
I can be somewhere there, just if You want.