A Victim of Violence...

I want to breathe
I want to breathe out loud,
I want this air around me to feel the weight on my heart
I want my feelings to flow out
Let it rush out like blood would gush out of a life-vein cut open
Like hot burning magma would erupt out of a mountain!
I want these emotions to destroy everything around
Like a merciless tornado would do to flimsy camps
Blow every fragment far away, unimaginably unrecoverable!
Completely blasted, devastated, toasted, wasted!
I want these bloodsucking androids on this planet
To jumble their commands and suck on their own commandants!
I want to pull my hair off and SHRIEK OUT LOUD!!!!
I want my deafening scream to strike like lightening
And pierce through every tyrant's treasured soul cravings.
I want to see their worlds fallin' apart
I want to see them losing their joys
Bawl at their losses and miseries
Howl over their fate!
Like mad moon wolves set on the Sun!

Listen Lord,
Spare no flower in this cruel world
Burn these leaves to ashes!
Take away the rainbows, the colours!
Blow away those clouds of Your mercy!
Let the Sun shine down with its intense fury!
I want everything to burn down
Melt down,
Break down,
Disappear!!
I want my curse to overpower every prayer
Oh please!!
Forget them the way I'm forgotten by them
The way I'm forsaken, forsake them!

I'm waiting for 'The End' 
Of every single bit in this universe
And SELF.

This rage probably comes out from the heart of every single child suffering the violence of cruel so-called human beings around the world
Starting from Falasteen and Afghanistan
Spreading out to Haiti, Iraq and Pakistan
Perhaps from Bahrain, Libya and Iran
And every forsaken soul in Kashmir and Sheeshaan
And many other unnamed states and towns around the globe

Be kind

Give love and joy to Allah's creation. 

And when you choose to do so, don't base your treatment on their character or status;

instead, 

give them love and joy like the Prophet (SAW) taught you to. 

Be kind, regardless of who they are.

The Massacre of Innocence

"Today I close my eyes
Today I drain out the worldly worries
No more Math, no more Science
Only heaven and its fragrance divine"

.....

I'm shot in my chest, but it isn't hurting
My heartbeat is fading, but I'm still praying
Forgive my mistakes and all the times I teased my mom
All the times I under-performed and let my papa down

I've been one crazy student and have troubled my teachers
But what I wouldn't give to save one of these martyrs
All my training, all these years; they flash before my eyes
Who knew I'd be martyred in my school aisles?

I see my best friend lying stationary there
My teacher, shes's burning! She's inside those flames
My classmates frantically running to save whoever they could
I see my friends become soldiers even before they should

Dear God, You've seen whoever these assassins are
They're wearing their masks but they're unveiled to Your eyes
Their hearts, their brains, their bodies, their hands
The entirety of these cowards roaring through their curtains

You know the culprits who're behind this massacre of innocence
Their thoughts, their plans, their censored filthy missions.
So when You choose to tighten the grip that You've loosened
Please spare their kids, their aged and their women

Cuz I have read that our Prophet (SAW) warned us in their regard
Never to harm the innocent even amidst the wildest war
Whether Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists or Jews
Women, kids and elderly are to be kept safe and secure

Oh but tonight, Ya Allah! Your Heaven will be crowded
And although I'm grateful that this worldly life ended
Please ease the pain of my parents and beloved
Please heal the ones who've been mercilessly wounded

Pakistan - The Land of The Pure

Here's the answer to every wondering mind....

Invisible

I like people from a distance;
Giggling, laughing, joking, teasing, playing....doing anything beautiful, just being themselves...not pretending to be someone else, not being proud or arrogant, not belittling or ridiculing anyone...just being themselves.
There are people who pretend to be someone else for pleasing others..the plastic faces: then there are people who completely transform their personalities just to fit in...they humble me. They are The Great ones....but they secretly live a rather sad life.

I cant be either of the two; I cant play a different role for long, neither can I kill my entirety just to fit in. I like me, a bit of me... atleast to the point that I dont want to lose my that particular self. I treasure my solitude, I love my relationship with my certain thoughts and words. Its sad, but beautiful. And its the only place on this wide planet where I can be myself with complete freedom, well, almost. Its the only place where Im an extrovert and I talk. Elsewhere its just a mute me responding briefly. I dont share interests with most people, and therefore never break the ice. I cant initiate, I dont initiate.
And lately, I fail to take interest in anything at all. Im too shattered to get hurt any further or bother to stand back up. I dont want to take part in anything, nothing at all...
Im safe down here - invisible, unreachable, at a distance - watching people as they ride their roller coasters...

But I can't stay here, can I?
No.

But I loved this moment of peace & silence...
My brain rested.

Backgrounds

Its strange how much life changes overtime...
The people you used to love crazily once fade away into the background...those serene colours melt away and you barely notice their presence in your practical life. Its the people in foreground that capture your time and most of your conscious existence. You, more appropriately, live life for them...even if a part of you has already faded away with the background; you continue to live shallow practical life...
With these fluorescent, unmatched colours
Alien to the pale you within.
So daring to fit in
So inappropriate
So un-okay
So......frustrating, if you think about it.
But you think...
And your thoughts lead you back to where you belong...
To that silence
Serenity
Calm, peaceful conversations
No arguments, only discussions
Smiles, LOLs, tears - tears of joy, dim glistening light...just like when the dawn breaks
Scented breeze, as if you were in a meadow of jasmines and lavenders
The background shines through your imagination...
It overtakes you for a while
You find your tiny piece of heaven there.
You smile
Your smile turns into laughter
And your laughter goes wild
Converting into gush of uncontrollable tears
And you weep,
You weep in silence;
While a part of you mutely screams in agony.
You know its the same people
You wish you could relive the background
But backgrounds are backgrounds
They are meant to fade.
But they only fade,
Never do they disappear.
And in their remote silence,
They stay right there within your sight;
Going unnoticed most of the time
But your subconscious self keeps it right in focus.
And those faded pale colours cast a deep dark shadow on your soul whenever they eclipse your heart.

Snap back to reality.
This deserves gratitude.
This is what has carried me till today.
This is me now
And this is how it was supposed to be.
And Im grateful for this.

Diaper Rash - Causes And Home Remedies

Diaper rash may be defined as a cutaneous eruption of skin characterized by skin inflammation and irritation. It is also known as diaper dermatitis or nappy dermatitis affects the diaper wearing infants and toddlers. Though there may be a number of causes of diaper rash, but the friction of delicate skin of the baby with the hem of tight-fitting diapers is the leading cause. It results in contact irritation. If diapers are wet, fungus and bacteria thrive in the warm moist environment exacerbating diaper rash.Contamination from excreta heightens eruption. It is common in creases or folds of skin in the diaper-wearing region such as between buttocks, between scrotums or within the thigh hinge. Initially the rash appears in the form of tiny red bumps accompanied by intense itching. Gradually the dots develop in to painful red scaly patches and glistened sore blisters. The rash may occur either in sporadic or concentrated manner. Diaper rash irritates the otherwise carefree, jolly baby making him or her cry all the time.
The causes of rash may be one or few of these:

1. Prolonged wearing of unclean diapers soaked in urine or soiled by fecal matter.
2. Friction caused by air-tight poor quality diapers
3. Usage of certain detergents or baby wipes that are harsh on the baby's sensitive skin.
4. Allergic reaction of skin to certain fragrances or components present in disposable diapers.
5. Hot water immersion for prolonged periods.
6. Bacterial infection (caused by Staph or Strep)
7. Yeast/Fungal infection (caused by Candida ablicans)
8. Babies' intake of antibiotics
9. Metabolic deficiency
10. Nutritional deficiency
11. Immunodeficiency
12. Skin conditions like atopic dermatitis and eczema
13. Introduction of new baby food. 14. Diarrhea 15. Teething

Home Remedies for Diaper Rash

1. Pat the baby's butt with well-whipped, foamy egg white. Let it dry until it forms a thin coat on the butt. Practice this before making the baby wear diaper. The thin film of egg white will allow skin to breathe and will help to regenerate skin tissue damaged by diaper rash.
2. Dip cloth diaper in vinegar for the final rinse. This brings the PH of cloth diaper at par with that of the baby's skin, and thus prevents rash outbreak.
3. Mix 1 part vinegar in 10 parts of water. Wipe the baby's bottom with a cotton ball soaked in the mixture. This checks diaper rash.
4. Mix one tablespoon dried oatmeal in to the baby's bath water. This protects the skin against diaper rash.
5. Application of olive oil on rashes is an effective home remedy.
6. Massaging the baby's bum with coconut oil or sesame oil prevents friction and occurrence of diaper rash.
7. Mix little butter with an herbal baby powder and apply on the baby's bottom. This soothes rash irritation.
8. Sprinkle corn starch on the baby's back. This heals rash problem quickly.
9. Use baked flour as a powder on baby's skin to cure rash.
10. Wipe the baby's bottom with extracts of calendula to cure this problem.
11. Application of cod liver oil or shark liver oil soothes and heals diaper rash.
12. Apply milk of magnesia on the baby's butt to do away with rash.
13. Mix Vaseline with Aloe Vera gel and apply on rashes. This soothes rashes and forms a waterproof coat between the baby's skin and diaper, thereby reducing this rash.

Check for white patches on your baby's tongue to diagnose thrash/yeast infection.
In case of yeast infection, avoid foods high in acidity and increase the intake of probiotics/alkaline foods.
For eg. Avoid eggs, excessive milk and add garlic, onion, plain yoghurt, green vegetables to the kid's diet.

*No copyright infringement intended. The sole purpose of sharing this information is  to help those in need of home remedies.*

Pointlessness

Do you feel like your heart is sinking
Do you feel the hollowness within
Do you feel that strange weight in the air you breathe
Do you sense darkness in your vision
Does it feel like suddenly life has no meaning?
Did you finally realize - this life is temporary?
Do you now not crave for the worldy things?
Do you prepare for your very own endings?
Does that make you rude?
Does that make you cold?
If it does that to you
Your preparation is going all wrong.

I feel so weird.
Its like my brain is barely corresponding to the 'now'
Im lost somewhere I fail to comprehend
Its not dark or eerie, its very bright but blurry
I dont know where, I cant grasp a thing
Its just an endless chaos; a very bright green n white confusion
I'd scream 'Take me out!'
But a part of me likes it here
A part of me finds peace here
A part of me...loves haze...
Endless, meaningless haze...
But then it gives me headaches
And I long to pull my hair off
Grab this headache and confusion out of my head..
And sleep...
Just sleep....

Independence Day

The two meanings I've known of Independence are 'Being self sufficient in your needs' and 'Being able to make your own choices' aka 'freedom from enslavement or undesired domination'

We're self sufficient, Alhamdulillah. But our government won't let us be - by constantly begging for the money we dont need. We can earn that money, and every citizen knows how blessed we are in both natural and human resources.

The latter definition, yes we are free indeed. Although our government isnt our beloved or even worthy of being liked, its a blessing we're not under the rule of Hindus (Talk about Indian Muslims, talk about Modi government) Atleast those who intend to practice Islam, can do so freely. Lets just ignore the mental slaves of the misled for a while though.

So yeah, so grateful that we're independent. Although being labelled as citizens of a specific nation has slighlty inclined us towards irresponsibility and we dont practically consider the whole ummah as one, but I firmly believe that a time will come when our resources will come to the rescue of Muslims. This independence will count one day; perhaps its still not the right time. 

A Girl I Know...

I met her when she was 16. She used to be occupied with her schoolwork, routine chores and very limited circle of friends. Simple, innocent, pious, humble, honest, diligent, and...talkative. She carried a butcher's knife with her at all times. Whenever she'd sense an opportunity, she'd hand it over to the person and gallantly be their scapegoat. That little schoolgirl with her 'My Sweet Friends & Bitter Foes' stories, endless presentations, tiring chores, and her beloved nephew...she had a fully packed schedule. And somehow still managed to give plenty of time to everyone. God knows how.

Time passed and nature decided it was about time she should blossom. She was still young. Little did she know she was just a fresh bud awaiting her springtime. And ofcourse, blossoming wasn't as easy and painless as it appeared. The more beautiful and intricate the flower, the longer and painful the blooming phase.

As soon as her inner petals caught the first glimpse of sunshine, they leaped out and strived to fade in with the light forever. A rather bold step it was, but her core was too feeble to stop what seemed a rather natural phenomenon. So she swayed with the breeze and let the happenings happen. She noticed there were many others of her kind, perhaps more radiant than her. She strung herself along with them; she built her world around them. They were her joy, her grief, her life, her dream and she wanted to spend forever this way.

But then, suddenly - or perhaps unexpectedly- the strings started breaking lose, people changed, goals diverged, feelings started to fade; distance and loneliness overshadowed her entire world.
There she was...all alone...falling apart...bit by bit...feeling frozen, broken, twisted, forsaken, gloomy and everything she could've dreaded.
She collapsed, fought back, relapsed, rebuffed and it kept looping on and on..

Now she was no more a little schoolgirl...she grew up. Her innocence evolved into modesty. She learnt to keep her secrets. And she grasped some negative elements too. Now she was smart, witty, wild, crazy and trustworthy as ever. Her piety went on and off. Many of her traits kept falling in and out. She was growing, rapidly dissolving and evolving; learning and forgetting. She was....phasing.

Life's a mess...she craved a distraction...and something to lean on to..so she could eventually stand up.. so she could rise and shine! She didn't want to surrender...she wasn't supposed to, she wasn't destined to.

She started reaching out..
.sketching, painting, writing, decorating...everything! She hastened. ..she wanted to touch and feel the beauty of everything....everything within her reach, everything her core can feel attached to. Because she....she wanted to find herself, discover her innermost marvel God had locked up and concealed deep within her. She was far far far from all the jasmines and lilies that surrounded her. And somewhere in her heart, she knew it! Though she never really acknowledged.
She struggled, failed; worked harder, achieved; stepped forward, fell harder; gave up, started over and there she is, you can still see her struggling. You can see her smiling away her fears and failures, grinning about her triumph over disasters. She's that kinda girl. Always ready, always handy. Always complainful, yet thankful to Almighty.

I dont know much of her recent self...but I assume that she's a lot more stable and stronger than before. She's silly but much wiser than before. She absorbed the fact that life is going to be hard. Good things will always be wrapped in thorns. People and life will keep pulling her down, she'll have to fight back up. She knows it'll exhaust her and sometimes it's going to be okay to reciprocate or just get succumbed for a while. Or perhaps, Im just wrong...
Its strange how life dragged us apart...or perhaps, somewhere we too were decissively involved in the process. Whatever...maybe.

Well, what I know is...she wasn't falling apart back then, she was opening up. The beauty wasn't really around in what she did, it was within her...and it spilled out beautifying all that she did.
And what she still doesn't know is...she isn't just another Rose or Lavender. This girl, she's a Rhododendron. She's packed with captivating scent that spreads like wild fire. It enchants whoever crosses the path of her life. And whatever she touches, her scent locks up on it forever. She isn't one of those radiant colours, she carries a pure and elegant tone of white colour...like those creamy clouds up there...so pure...
This girl - She's Legendary. She's born for Glory.
And, she hasn't fully bloomed yet. She needs more of her Creator and less of His creation to be there...but she needs them both anyway.

May she find what she's looking for sooner than soon could be.

Dedicated to Dearmost Reverts

I was going through a revert's blog sometime ago. Its never really surprising to know that new reverts are way more attached to Islam than most of us born Muslims residing in Islamic societies are.
There's one obvious reason, non-Islamic ways are new to us and they are portrayed so enticingly, we feel an overwhelming desire to catch a glimpse of it. And once you catch a glimpse, you want to touch it with your soul. Its human nature, you fall for the desires of your nafs when you loosen your grip. And once your nafs feels the first touch of freedom, disobedience and glitz...you're already dragged half way down your spiritual state by the time you notice it. There's a reason why God wants us to remember Him throughout the day and seek refuge from the accursed shaytaan.

But, to the people who were born in negligence and have seen that glitzy decoy all their lives and have always followed their nafs around, the freshness of Allah's love in Islam is compelling. It fills their hearts with so much love and acceptance, that they just dont want anything to draw them away from it anymore. They're sick of boundless lives of themselves and everyone they know. Freedom is good, but extreme freedom is sickening. Because when you are at that level of freedom, you are invading everyone else's space and harming their lives doing things your way....without any concern of others' choices.
Adultery is a sin, it should be treated as a crime too. And if you search, there are endless legit reasons why Allah has forbidden it. Its then that you figure out that all the rules Allah made are for your own good...and for the good of the world at large.

So when you carry Allah's love in your heart, make sure you spread it. Because its beautiful...so beautiful. Its like those fully bloomed flowers...its fragrance spreads quicker than anything and is more enchanting than Rhododendrons..afterall its the Love of the Creator of all the flowers. Allah's love shines brighter than the Sun...it shines through your words when you speak and brightens the lives of all those who listen to you. Its deeper than the deepest point of the deepest ocean...cuz when its within you, every inch of YOU is filled with peace..(and just if you know, human body is very complex and there are parts and countless inches within you that you arent even aware of) Allah's love is vaster than the universe...it overtakes not just the whole of you, but spreads all over and within your circle. Allah's Love...is Life. Its present within each one of us...but you'll only find it when you truly look for it within yourself.
Give yourself some quality time, find it. And when you do find it, dont hide it...JUST DON'T.
Instead, LET IT SPREAD.
Because there are people all around us yearning for love, light and peace. Some cant find it cuz they're off track, and some...they just dont know where to find it.

When you share Allah's love, it doesn't just help them find serenity, it ultimately makes them a source of light for you when you can't seem to find it...cuz you went off track. (You know that happened with you at some stage in your life, and can quite obviously happen again...cuz no matter how religiously enlightened you become, shaytaan always finds a way to tempt you out of it. )

So dont just hold on tightly to the rope of Allah all alone, help others hold it too. Its Allah's rope...the more people hold it, the better...it won't break, will only get stronger!

Don't just carry Muslim identity, be a Muslim. And Muslims are ALWAYS good... 24/7/365

PS. I wrote this quite a while ago in my notepad; read it today and it lifted me up.
So I decided to share, might just help lift someone else as well.

The Beloved

The people you fight for,
Are the same people who, when you return, fight you
Stab you
Drown you
Lift you
Aid you
Save you
Encourage you
Send you back to battlefields.

:Loop:

Sickness of the Heart

Take me back to where I belong
Kill this vagabond
Guide this stray self in me
I want to get my heart back to my home

Make me the kinda Mominah I always desired to be
Shed away this coating of exhaustion and arrogance from over me
Keep me safe under the shelter of Your love and guidance
Substitute all your dislikes with all the good in me

~ MB

"Good never brings forth but good"

Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri:Allah's Apostle said, 
"The thing I am afraid of most for your sake, is the worldly blessings which Allah will bring forth to you." 
It was said, "What are the blessings of this world?" 
The Prophet said, "The pleasures of the world."
 A man said, "Can the good bring forth evil?" 
The Prophet kept quiet for a while till we thought that he was being inspired divinely. Then he started removing the sweat from his forehead and said," Where is the questioner?" 
That man said, "I (am present)." 
Abu Sa'id added: We thanked the man when the result (of his question) was such. 

The Prophet said, "Good never brings forth but good. This wealth (of the world) is (like) green and sweet (fruit), and all the vegetation which grows on the bank of a stream either kills or nearly kills the animal that eats too much of it, except the animal that eats the Khadira (a kind of vegetation). Such an animal eats till its stomach is full and then it faces the sun and starts ruminating and then it passes out dung and urine and goes to eat again. This worldly wealth is (like) sweet (fruit), and if a person earns it (the wealth) in a legal way and spends it properly, then it is an excellent helper, and whoever earns it in an illegal way, he will be like the one who eats but is never satisfied."

Allah's Will

Allah does what He intends
And He does whatever is best for His creation...
No matter how unjust or unkind it may seem to you from your angle
It's always the best.
At times you realize later that what He did was indeed the best
At others, you just fail to figure out.
Cuz you just have your limited scope of mind
Your limited thinking capacity
Your very very limited vision
And He...
He and His capabilities are above all that you know or do not know
Because He is above His creation.
Where your capabilities end,
His just begin.
Because...
He is the one who granted you whatever you possess. 

Expendable Humanity

[I wrote this on the 10th Anniversary of Guantanamo Bay (2013)

With sympathy for every oppressed human soul on OUR planet

In memory of every so-called 'insignificant' human life taken away]

Another ruthless torrent of lashes on flesh

Another bomb blast causing slush and flesh to mesh

Another robbery rage, another wild auto race

Another brother swept away from Earth’s cold cold face

Look around the world, whatever do you see?

Another child’s mother lamenting over her misery

Another bloodthirsty revenge, another man slain

Another dame being swindled down the mute lane

Do you remember those days when Hitler was one?

Now every other politician appears to be his son

Have a look at their victims in Bahrain and Sheeshan

Watch the massacre spread to Libya and Iran

So when I kneel down and raise my hands to pray tonight

Remind me of my people deprived of  every Human Right

Let me cry my eyes out to invoke Lord’s mercy today

To shelter the wretched victims in Guantanamo Bay,

To  extend the blanket of His mercy over to Afghanistan

Bless all the deprived people in Kashmir and Pakistan

Unsheltered families in Haiti, famished kids in Mozambique

Brave young soldiers defending every Falasteeni street

Look at the world drowning under confiscations & plights

Voiceless they die, deprived of basic HUMAN RIGHTS

Dear Lord, help the distressed souls and the bleeding hearts,

Incite the oblivious mass and escort the strayed myriads…

~ MB

Jeddah Historical Festival (مھرجان جدۃ التاريخية)

Balad District is hosting Jeddah's first ever Heritage Festival lately...there's hype about it all over Jeddah and people are swarming to watch the attractions at the festival with great enthusiasm.

Makkah Gov. Prince Mishaal bin Abdullah and Prince Sultan bin Salman, head of the SCTA, open the Jeddah cultural festival.

Making traditional sweets the traditional way

It is scheduled to entertain and educate people about the rich cultural inheritance of Jeddah for 10 days. Not that great a duration, but it is a move grand enough to revive the almost-diminishing cultural awareness in the (especially Saudi) youth. People in Jeddah seem quite carried away by Western culture lately....lets hope this festival will help in the revival of Saudi Arabian Culture.

The carpenters gorgeous yachts

They chose a rather old district to host the festival, its not one of those well-developed sites, but was the perfect point to host an event displaying history and heritage...since its loaded with old architectural buildings and the oh-so-famous Balad Museum.

Traditional Jewellery

There wasn't as much on display as we expected the first day, but they say its going to get really striking by the following weekend. Despite the limited historical display, it still was interesting. 

Ladies' Traditional Outfit on display

They displayed the rural Hijazi housing style featuring antique furniture, utensils, electronic appliances and their living habits. They portrayed dressing style of men (thobs) and women (jalabiyaat), everyday tasks like fetching water, selling fruits and stuff like that. Then there were stands and booths of traditional snacks, sweets, bread, jewellery, handicrafts, artwork etc.

Here are some captures of the event:

Yes, that antique ambulance!

The locksmith's corner

Giant lock & the key

And finally, the paper artwork
(Media Partners' names underneath)

Update: Here's where you'll find all the most recent updates regarding the festival http://historicjeddah.com/

Stop Neglecting Fajr

Things to remind myself when shaytaan tempts me to neglect Fajr prayer:

1 - Islam is about submitting your will to Allah. Submit, and you shall rejoice.
2 - Live now, rest later.
3 - The 2 sunnahs of Fajr are better than the world and everything in it.
4 - Fajr is your first battle against the shaytaan everyday. You win it, you win the day!
5 - The harder you struggle, the more reward you reap.
6 - You skip it one day, the next day you'll be weaker and shaytaan will be stronger. You might skip it again and again until it becomes your habit.