Invisible

I like people from a distance;
Giggling, laughing, joking, teasing, playing....doing anything beautiful, just being themselves...not pretending to be someone else, not being proud or arrogant, not belittling or ridiculing anyone...just being themselves.
There are people who pretend to be someone else for pleasing others..the plastic faces: then there are people who completely transform their personalities just to fit in...they humble me. They are The Great ones....but they secretly live a rather sad life.

I cant be either of the two; I cant play a different role for long, neither can I kill my entirety just to fit in. I like me, a bit of me... atleast to the point that I dont want to lose my that particular self. I treasure my solitude, I love my relationship with my certain thoughts and words. Its sad, but beautiful. And its the only place on this wide planet where I can be myself with complete freedom, well, almost. Its the only place where Im an extrovert and I talk. Elsewhere its just a mute me responding briefly. I dont share interests with most people, and therefore never break the ice. I cant initiate, I dont initiate.
And lately, I fail to take interest in anything at all. Im too shattered to get hurt any further or bother to stand back up. I dont want to take part in anything, nothing at all...
Im safe down here - invisible, unreachable, at a distance - watching people as they ride their roller coasters...

But I can't stay here, can I?
No.

But I loved this moment of peace & silence...
My brain rested.