A Grief

For those of us who take the dart to the heart with a smile

There's no one who gets to see our melting points

They shut their eyes just like we veil our cries

And everyone pretends nothing's out of order.

In all this pretense of

N o r m a l i s a t i o n

Somewhere inside us

the pieces keep shattering down

While people keep coming around

Giving a little extra pain to shove down.

Pointless arguments

same merciless tones

There's not an inch of empathy

not even a little humanity.

How would have I known

Some grieves are for you to bear alone

Maybe it's not even a legit grief

when you lose someone that only you have known.

With piercing agony

inside our beings

we flash smiles like it's a good holiday

while all we go through is another agonizing day

Shattered souls and aching bodies

Broken hearts with unwritten stories

No proper theme,

not title to give;

what have I just been through?

how could this be so much,

and yet be so 'nothing'?

How could an event,

an interval of life,

longer than 10 weeks

be recorded shorter than a heartbeat?

How can something be forgotten before its even over? 

A loss remains a loss

whether acknowledged or not.

The pain remains intact

despite all the varnish.

And a place in the heart forever remains

Occupied by the same inhabitant.

And time and again

the specks of grief 

shine through the eyes again.

I am grateful you dropped by, even if it was just for a moment...

I don't even know if you're counted; but in my heart, you're permanent.

You both remain loved and unforgotten - within my existence.