Mama dropped me at this place
And dubbed it my 'New Home'
I can almost smell from a mile away
It's inhabited by some gnome
Mushrooms, peas and potatoes
Every single kind of bean
The smell is almost stupefying
Kill me with your cuisine!
My Royal Highness, Lady Sophie
How cheaply was I escorted
No red carpet, no hearty feast
No crown on my head
To your surprise, to my demise
This wasn't the worst of news
There isn't just one dwarf in here
They're, instead, in multitudes
They fight, they snatch from each other
They even hit and run
My Lord, they are utterly savage
Are they miniatures of a human?
"Kitty, Kitty, Kitty", they say
My little neck they tickle
"Devil, Devil, Devil", I purr
Your finger, I'd love to nibble!
I, the one, who slurped pure milk
With turkey and poached tunas
Is sitting here, around the corner
Gulping down packaged Whiskas
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